Can't Tooch This

The Hills used to be kind of a good time — you could make fun of it, dissect the outfits, laugh at the sweeping music and landscape shots. But now… ugh. It’s skidded into the realm of grotesque dance macabre. There might not be much to be done about Heidi now. She may be too in the thrall of the terrible fame monster. This might be her life. And that is a genuinely sad thing, for which we may be partly responsible. But we can at least, from here on out, stand on the principle that we won’t give them anymore ratings, we won’t do them the benefit of making fun of them, we won’t keep on with the indulging.

So please join us in saying no to this awful, awful thing. Trust us when we say that we know it was silly to have ever watched in the first place. But it’s gone past silly now. Something has tilted sideways and darkened. This is grim territory we are entering and rather than abandon all hope, we’d prefer to turn around and walk back up to higher ground.